Oct 15 2009
Further Insights
Probably not in my professional relationships, but certainly in my personal and family relationships I have often been on the wrong end of this comment: ‘ the trouble with you Jude is that you are always right!’ Over the years I guess I just came to accept this as one of my failings, and had not really thought of doing something about that.
My readings have helped me to come to understand the importance of being able to accept someone else’s point of view WITHOUT having to agree with it, and I had never really thought that there was a way to create such a positive outcome. Even more importantly, I see the need for developing skills in interpersonal relationships,problem solving, decision-making and conflict resolution if I am to fulfil my role as TL and demonstrate leadership in bringing about changes and innovation in my school. Effective communication skills and understanding of these is integral to leadership and knowledge sharing, building trusting relationships and a culture of collegiality.
I need to be willing to be challenged, expect and welcome resisters and see these as opportunities that may lead to growth and new learning. If there is negative feedback, I must remember to maintain a clear focus , separate the idea from the person but take other’s concerns seriously. This means listening effectively!
The Mind Tools article helped me appreciate the benefits to an organisation when good conflict resolution processes are used. Ideally it not only means that the conflict is diffused and even resolved, but also that people come out of it with increased understanding, increased group cohesion and mutual respect and improves self-knowledge because the process makes you more aware of what is (and is not) important to you. I had not previously considered that ther could be an upside of having and resolving a conflict. It is easy to see that in schools where this process is used effectively, the flow-on effect must be that there is less major or ongoing conflict happening. As people’s skills and understanding increases, so does their capacity for tolerance of individual differences and relationships will benefit.
Other useful advice from this article was that conflicts need to be resolved early before people become entrenched in a fixed position. I have seen long term conflict in schools where I have worked and it is always damaging to the culture of the school.
One additional rule offered is to keep people and problems separate: we need to recognise that valid differences can lie behind the positions, and by separating the problem real issues can be debated without damaging the professional relationships. This assumes that one or both of the persons are not just “being difficult”, and unfortunately I have witnessed cases where this appears so. Some people do not appear to WANT to find a resolution. I suggest that if one person has conflicts with several others then it may be the person who is the problem, not the supposed issues. This is why it is a good idea for schools to have a framework, a policy or set of clear processes for dealing with conflict and that all staff are regularly trained and updated in these processes. If real situations don’t exist, role play would help strengthen skills. The Taylor/Coulter article suggests that ‘Prevention is better than cure’
This leads me to many good ideas from this article (no author or date supplied). It is about managing workplace conflict which creates an awkward atmosphere, promotes non-cooperation and unproductive working conditions. If this is over a short period of time relationships can be improved but if left unresolved can approach crisis point.
Some conflict can be resolved early using a third party to mediate. It can be as simple as this person providing information that may prompt participants to reconsider their position. If this is not successful, I would suggest using McKay’s 6 step approach.
Anothter very useful reading was by Townsley and relates to conflict within teams, very valid for schools where various teams operate in all sorts of capacities. I very much agree with her observation that although many leaders are trained in conflict resolution and are aware of disagreements, they seldom assign a high priority to solving the problem. She says ‘we must not turn our backs and hope it goes away’.
Leaders often need to be the mediator in a dispute and so need to be trusted by the people involved, and able to remain neutral. I have been involved in some minor mediation that did not meet my satisfaction mainly because of my lack of trust in the mediator. Fortunately the other party left the school after several disputes with other staff, so further processes were not needed. However that form of resolution does not lead to improved skills , learning or growth for any that were involved. A productive working through of the processes would have helped all to develop skills for resolving issues in the future, so more likely that they will be able to deal with it themselves without the need for a mediator.
Townsley examines the benefits of understanding the elements of conflict. One of interest is perception: people associate conflict with negative responses and emotions , and these negative perceptions impact on our approach to resolving the conflict. It is rare for people to perceive that there may be benefits from being involved in a dispute- such as generating alternative or innovative solutions, increasing cohesiveness, improved communication skills, increased interpersonal skills. If leaders in particular see this as a positive, they may be more inclined to attempt mediation earlier. She also advocates for schools to provide programs which offer training in conflict resolution skills and techniques.
One point in this article with which I strongly disagree is her suggestion to allow people in dispute to express their feelings and get hostility out of their system. I don’t see this as conducive to the process as it does not separate the issue form the personality – which is why I prefer McKay’s 6 step method. Often in a hostile situation, people say things that can’t be unsaid and interpersonal relations are damaged beyond repair.
The readings have all been very enlighteneing and all have reinforced my understanding that communication skills are the connections skills of an organisation. Also that communication underpins leadership and collaboration, so the conclusion can be drawn that effective communication is necessary for effective leadership and supports productive collaboration. All of these readings relate to change, decision making, conflict resolution and negotiation, and all of these require effective communication.